Best Week of Your Life!!! May 26, 2012

Tomorrow morning, I am heading to Frontier Ranch with the Dale House for Young Life Camp! I am soooo excited!! I am also exhausted from camp prep sooo just a few short thoughts.

All of our kids, except one girl, are going! That’s 12 boys and 4 girls! This in itself is incredible because the kids have to chose to go and pay 100 bucks to go, it is a blessing they are almost all going!

I am excited, but nervous… its really really hard work and really really great! Lot’s of unknowns about how the kids will take it all (this is a big stretch for our kids).

The leaders going are Sam, Cody, Niko, Lydia, and myself!

If you could pray for the kids and us leaders! That the kids have a blast and that arguing can be to a minimum. For energy and health. For rest, I haven’t been sleeping well this week. For wisdom. For fun. For an Assigned Team who understands our kids are a bit different. For the kids to have the best week of their life and that we can be excellent leaders! For the girl back home that she can make it through being the only one who doesn’t go to camp… even though its her choice, I think she’ll regret it and I think it’s going to be really hard. For a kid who was supposed to go but went on the run this week, that he is safe and turns himself in soon. For the kids to see Christ in a different way.

Thank you all for your support!!!
Frontier Ranch, ready or not, here we come!

Rollin in a new whip! May 24, 2012

I got a new car!! I’m so excited! I have been saving for this car for a long time and am so excited I finally got it! I bought a 2004 Honda Accord LX and it is much much nicer than I was expecting to get for my price range! My requirements for my new car was: automatic windows and locks (never have owned a car with this!), antilock brakes (I have never had this either!!) low miles, and reliable. Well, my car has power power windows, power locks and a remote unlock on the key, antilock brakes, cruise control (Another one I have never had!), a sun roof, a 6 cd changer, 43k miles, 5-speed, a mirror on the driver’s visor, and is red!!! Okay, really, I have never had any of the things on that list! Ahh! I really like it!

The silver bullet has been a good car, but I am real excited about all the fun things this car has on it!

But, before I paid for it… I had to play with the benjamins… when else am I going to have so much cash in my hand??

I have a dream… May 24, 2012

For Martin Luther King day, we ask the kids to write their dreams down for themselves or for the world. I wanted to share some of these with you. This post is long overdue.

• To be flawless; to one day forgive; to be happy; to be loved; to connect with people on a deeper level; to create a betta life; to bless ma fam with hope; to be recognized for tha right reasons
• to never have to see a loved one die again unless its by age
• to be a doctor
• My dream is to be the best dad I can be and change my ways for myself and my loved ones. I have a dream that a dream can become a reality because it is ultimately up to the person dreaming.
• Someday people will understand that violence solves nothing but creates more problems. also that those who feel the death penalty can do nothing but cause more death. People sometimes use violence because they are not smart enough to approach situations with logic aboslves, but it is true there will be war and people need to defend their selves and that I feel is the only time violence is necessary, but for pointless violence can be stopped and the only way to change this is to start one by one.
• I have a dream that one day my criminal record won’t reflect on my character. Moreover, that one day  I will be judged by my character not the way I look or who I am with. That one day people can get their head out of the clouds and understand that theres more to life then money and fame. That we were indeed meant to live for so much more. I have a dream that one day people will understand my capabilities and see my potential. That one day I’ll be able to love completely without the fear of being loved or loving those around me. That the term different, and happiness, love, trust, and success are all measured differently in other people’s eyes. I have a dream that one day I can find who I am. Afterall isn’t that what we were made for? Life isn’t a journey to find yourself its a journey to create yourself.
• to have more than I had yesterday and less than I’ll have tomorrow
• My dream is that one day I may be able to make a difference in a young kids life and save them from the downfalls that they may go through that I have done went through. And show them that there is an alternative to life other than drugs, gangs, violence, and the loneliness of a jail cell. And that anything is possible to do any thing in life when you put your mind to it and work hard at making it in life. This is my dream.
• Find inner peace and happiness–real love without cruelty– provide a loving place to stay for my brothers–that my dad will sober up–animal cruelty will end–people wont go cold or hungry at night–all lost souls will find a place to call home– my brother will stay strong throughout all the evil in this world– all people will find love, hope, courage, and faith.

what i be May 24, 2012

The “What I Be Project” really catches my eye. The photographer takes portraits of people’s insecurities and writes a short sentence of “I am not my ___.” The idea is simple, but the images are powerful. We are more than our characteristics, flaws, struggles, pasts, or bodies. I think we all get defined by such things, but I think the DHP residents have felt more than their fair share of these labels. Criminal, addict, prostitute, gangbanger, abused, abuser, thug, worthless, lowlife, bum, slut, goth, etc. When really, they are hurt, scared, lonely, confused, traumatized, normal, kids, desperate, loving, kind, fun, sweet. They are children of God. I am them and they are me. I know I have shared some of these before, but the photographer has added a lot of photos to her collection. Click here for the “What I Be” Project page.

Two Years May 21, 2012

As of May 21, 2012, I have worked at the Dale House for two years! I can’t believe it! Part of me feels like I have been here forever and I don’t remember what parts of life were like before the DHP and other parts feel like I just started and have no idea what I am doing!

The last year has been a really hard, really great one–and I would expect nothing else from this place!

I think of some really tough moments– the quadruple shooting that left 2 dead/2 shot/1 in jail (most were former residents) that happened in a recently emancipated residents apartment, the shooting that involved four kids I lived with for months and months, the heartbreak of watching kids I love fall back into ganglife or go on the run or fall into addictions once more, seeing kids get new adult charges that mean years in prison, witnessing kids mess up, and fighting to figure out where God is in all of this. This year has had some incredibly difficult times that have left me wrestling big questions.

I think of the beautiful moments like California, Young Life camp, Christmas morning, playing hours of rummy, winning a bet and hearing a kid sing “I’m a little teapot” at dinner, watching old kids come by who are making it, getting letters from kids who are in jail saying that the Dale House was the best time of their life, celebrating with a kid who past his first GED test, living life with incredible incredible people, skating around Chikfila parking lot all night with three kids, going on a roller coaster with a kid who just got out of jail, going to Chikfila every week in Feb to get free breakfast, hitting every iTopit opening in town for dollar yogurt with a van full of kids, getting to live everyday life with incredible kids. I could not be more blessed or have a better job! This week I have just been overpowered by emotion about how incredible the Dale House is and how much I believe in it!

I have learned more than I can express this year. The Dale House has shaped my thoughts about myself, the world, other people, and God more than any other experience in my life. I think the biggest question I have struggled with this year is asking what does hope mean when I struggle to see hope in my kids lives and in the cycles of addiction/abuse/family disorder/poverty/pain/etc that so often control them. I have had to force myself to see hope as something other than optimism. I have had to come to terms with the fact that happy endings are not always the way I pictured them in real life. I have had to learn that I have very very little control in this world and that I do not understand the bigger picture. I have come to see myself as much much smaller and God and the Gospel as much much bigger than I could ever understand. I have fallen in love with God, with these kids, and with the Dale House more than I can express.

Staycation! May 14, 2012

I had a few holiday comp days that were about to expire, so last weekend I decided to use them up. I was hoping to go to South Carolina to visit Abby, but flights went up $150 bucks overnight, making those plans not so doable. So, I decided to stay in Colorado and do a few small trips with the fam.

Friday to Saturday I went to Denver with my dad. On Friday, we looked around at some car lots for a new car for me! I have been saving for a while now to get a new car and was excited to start looking! I quickly discovered that I had too big of dreams for my small budget! But, I did find a really great Honda Accord on craigslist that was more than I was hoping for! My requirements going into the search was low mileage, safe car, and antilock brakes. This car had all of that PLUS power windows, power locks, a mirror on the visor, cruise control, radio controls on the steering wheel, AND a sunroof!! Way more than I could have imagined, buut coming from a car with manual windows, locks, no mirror, no cruise control, no antilock brakes, etc it was a biiiig step up. I thought I bought the car, buuut later issues have left me still waiting to see if I can get the car. Hopefully I will find out soon!

Saturday, we went to the new Colorado History Museum and dinner, which was a trip I told my dad I was going to take him on for LAST year for Father’s Day/Birthday, buuut I am a slacker! The museum was really really awesome though! Lots of interaction, interesting exhibits, and cool history! For the history buff in my dad and I, the place was awesome! After looking through the exhibits, we went to the museum’s library and looked through the newspapers of Rocky Ford around the turn of the century when my Poppop’s parents were married and when he was born! The articles were awesome!! We found their wedding announcement and his birth along with funny articles on local engagements, festivities, stores, robberies, class projects, and school happenings. The newspapers were so cool!! We ended up opening and closing the museum.

A machine at the museum inserts your face into an old yearbook. Kind of creepy, kind of hilarious.

After the museum, we went to Cinco de Mayo in Civic Center Park… an interesting park on any day, let alone for Cinco de Mayo. Most of the festival was my kids’ dream– jerseys, snapback hats, Raiders shirts. The crowd was hilarious– men with snakes around their necks, people smoking pot, women with chihuahuas, a guy on meth doing karate while walking down the street, some quality rap songs, crazy haircuts, and just the most interesting crowd of people you could imagine. I found a bumper sticker from people who wanted “equal treatment for people who smoked marijuana as those who drank alcohol” that said “Urine samples piss me off” that I wanted to hang where we keep our drug test containers. My dad and I stood around for hours watching the crowd and playing “name that gang” as we looked at the tattoos and gang colors in the crowd.

Darryl Dawkins, the guy who first broke the backboards in the NBA. It’s funny, at this angle, I look like I am short, but really I am much much taller than him.

I think I should be a guard in the NBA.

This is my next ride.

Look at the baby goat!!! So cute!

Can anyone say my new car?? Just kidding!

Sunday, I got to go shopping with my mom in Castle Rock. We, of course, didn’t spend any money or laugh at all… of course.

Monday, I relaxed, got some errands done, and went to my uncle’s promotion party! He got promoted to a Battalion Chief on the fire department!

Tuesday, I got to hang out with my brother, Ryan, all day! We went to lunch and a movie and hung out around his house. It was awesome! I haven’t been able to spend a whole day with him in a while and loved getting the chance to!

 

The vacation was really great and relaxing! I am really really really grateful for my family and getting to spend so much time with them! And, returning to work was pretty smooth! Sometimes, coming back on duty is like running into a wall because of immediate conflict or dealing with stuff that happened while you were gone, but this one was smooth! So great!

Words that Penetrate the Tough Personas April 28, 2012

Two quotes kids have said explain a lot of the struggles our kids have here:

• What’s the hardest part about being in jail?- me
  • Being there is easy, you get used to it. The hard part is getting out and trying to do something different.- resident

Some people call jail the “steel womb” and want to live their entire life there. To us, jail seems miserable, but to the kids who have been so incredibly traumatized and seen so much pain, jail is safe. They know what to expect, they know how it works. They know that if they can’t handle themselves, someone will run and tackle them and restrain them and hold them until they calm down. Seems backwards to people who haven’t been in jail, but perhaps you can imagine it as something you have never done that terrifies you, that’s the world out here to the kids. It’s scary and unpredictable. They have little support and big decisions to make. They protect themselves with guns and numb the pain through drugs. Which is understandable when you hear their lives. But they desperately want to change too. Yet, it is incredibly difficult and terrifying to do so.

• Man, staff are my family…. I don’t know how to be a part of a family

This one came from a kid who acts tough and acts like he doesn’t want to be a part of this community at times. Yet, he wants desperately to be a part of this family… and has no idea how to be. He’s never had a family, he’s never had a healthy relationship. Most of are kids are in the same boat. They want this desperately and have absolutely no idea how to be… so they act out, push people away, and return to old habits. Even though everything inside of them screams for something more.

Dance and Dine April 28, 2012

Every year, we have a Spring Banquet at the DHP. Our kids never got to go to prom and so we hope to have a fancy event that they will remember.

The event is a dinner and dance in our garage. This may not seem very fancy, but one former resident’s story puts it in perspective. She lived at the DHP years and years ago. She lived with her boyfriend when she left with their kids in a car. She lived a rough life post Dale House. But when she would come back and visit my boss, she told him that she wanted her wedding to be like the Dale House banquet. She did not imagine a Country Club wedding, she imagined the nicest party she had ever been to… a banquet, in the garage of the Dale House.

Those are the kinds of memories I get to help create at the Dale House.

Steph, my fabulous roommate and friend, put hours and hours of hardwork into the event and it paid off! The night was INCREDIBLE!

We got everyone all dressed up, had a short lesson in etiquette, ate appetizers and had photo shoots, had a fancy three course steak dinner with waiters, and then had a big old dance.

The kids totally bought in and had the time of their lives dancing, laughing, and being goofy! I wish I could describe the night or show you the pictures of their smiling faces.

They got to be kids! They got to have a blast…sober! They created memories that will hopefully last a lifetime.

That night was a holy, holy moment!

Life in Pictures April 28, 2012

The boys playing some Parks and Rec Basketball

Bicycle Rodeo... the whole house went on a crazy bike ride downtown. The residents giggled like children and chanted "Who are we? DHP!" as we rode as a big motley crew downtown.

My brother, mom, dad, and I went to see Wicked at the Buell Theater... one of the best plays I've ever seen! We had a blast!!

Steph and I did a daytrip and drove up to Buena Vista to watch our friend Jay run an ultra marathon... a 50 mile trail run at 8000 feet!! So crazy! We got to hang out with him and his mom and go shopping in Salida!

Today at work, I got to bowl with my friends! April 28, 2012

I have incredible bosses who really value community! So every month we get together and have a staff hangout time. This month was bowling!

I am so grateful for my bosses, I mean, where else do you work that a boss cares about his employees to give them time off and let them just hang out!

As always, the day was an adventure. On the way up the giant hill on 21st street, the 15 passenger van, we call the pickle, lost its transmission and the staff had to push it up the rest of the way.

But, after the set back, the day was a blast! And all those bowling classes at Doherty paid off! I won the first round!!

Ted got a turkey!

George hanging out with Norah

Steph (Team Leader/Roommate) and I!

The Woodards (except Tatum): Julie, Ted (Garden Guy), Norah, and Max

Kevin (TS Supervisor) and Bella

Bella!

George (Director) and David (Clinical Director)

Max and Bella

Max posing for the picture!

Me, Tiffany (Training Staff), Ariel (TS), Leigh (TS), Cody (TS), and Lydia (TS)

Jay (TS) and Nik (Ph 3) discussing the fact that Jay’s shorts are rather short

Jay, Cody, and Sam

Leigh, Cody, and Jesse (Team Leader)

Steph and Bella